Sunday, December 1, 2002

Ann Landers

Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns of the past 47 years. These letters originally appeared in 1998.

Dear Ann Landers: My fiance and I are planning a summer wedding. Everything is working out the way we dreamed, except for one thing. The clergyman who will be performing the ceremony has a habit of wearing sandals (no socks) on every occasion, even in the dead of winter.

We do not want to see his bare feet at our wedding ceremony, especially when everyone else will be dressed formally. Is there a polite way to ask him to wear shoes? (I'm not even sure he owns a pair.) I feel uncomfortable approaching him about this and would appreciate your advice. -- New York Wedding Belle

Dear Belle: Your wedding day should be remembered as a glorious occasion, and you have the right to see that it is. In my opinion, it is not unreasonable to expect the clergy to wear shoes.

Don't wait until the last minute to make this request. Tell him as soon as possible, and suggest where he might find exactly the right pair.

Dear Ann Landers: I work with a woman who does her laundry every day and washes her car three times a week whether it rains or not. "Maizie" spends a fortune on clothes and always looks like she's going to a party. I've seen her put on earrings just to cut the grass.

I read somewhere that this type of behavior indicates a deep-seated problem. Is this normal or what? -- Danville, Pa.

Dear Dan: Granted, "Maizie" may be a bit compulsive about her car and her laundry, and she apparently likes to look her best, even when she mows the lawn, but I don't see that this is hurting anybody. My question is: Why does this bother you?

Dear Ann Landers: Last week, my husband and I took some friends to dinner at a nice restaurant. The waitress told us she was newly hired and asked us to be patient with her. I thought she served us quite well.

As we were leaving, I noticed that my husband had left a small folded note along with the tip. When I asked what it said, he told me he had written, "You're new here, and I suggest that you use a breath mint from now on." He had also placed a mint with the note.

Some of us thought this was very rude, but others in our group agreed with my husband, saying he had performed a necessary service. What do you say? -- Laura from Park Ridge, Ill.

Dear Park Ridge: I believe he did that young woman a favor, but he could

have softened the suggestion by telling her she was a very competent waitress and then added, "I'm sure you are not aware of the problem, but ... "

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